


ugly days

by moonlightrichie



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Angst, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Established Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Richie, M/M, NSFW, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-17
Updated: 2019-08-17
Packaged: 2020-09-02 14:07:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20277136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonlightrichie/pseuds/moonlightrichie
Summary: Richie has a bad day. Eddie helps.





	ugly days

**Author's Note:**

> Uhhh so this is my first time posting anything smutty, so please don't be too hard on me

Eddie didn’t know how he was supposed to feel as he was cycling over to Richie’s house.

Was he supposed to be mad? Worried? Maybe annoyed?

It was a Sunday in the middle of July during their last summer together before they all went away to different colleges, and the Losers had planned to go swimming in the quarry that day. For over 20 minutes, Eddie had stood waiting for Richie at the Kissing Bridge, the two of them always meeting up on beforehand and going together.

Didn’t matter what kind of plans the Losers had, but Eddie and Richie _always _went together.

When Richie hadn’t turned up, Eddie figured he’d just overslept and that he would be there later, and Eddie had walked to the quarry on his own. But after sending several messages, and even calling with no answer, he had started getting worried. He knew how Richie could get sometimes.

Then a whole lot of other emotions had washed over him when he saw that Richie had been online on social media, but still hadn’t answered any of the messages. First he’d gotten annoyed. Then a little mad. But in the end he’d felt mostly relieved.

At least Richie was alive.

When he’d been hanging out with the others for another hour, he couldn’t take it anymore. He wasn’t having fun anyways, the others starting to get annoyed at his rants about Richie not being there. Besides, the heaviness in his chest was keeping him from getting in the water. It would only drag him down, pull him under; drown him.

So he left. And soon he was pedaling as quickly as he could down Richie’s street, feet going around so fast they were moving in a blur. How he was able to continue on without twisting an ankle, he didn’t know.

Maggie Tozier let him inside as soon as he knocked on the door, an understanding look on her face. Even though he and Richie hadn’t told anyone except the Losers about their relationship, Eddie had a feeling that Richie’s parents still knew.

“He’s in his room”, she muttered quietly, the restrained smile on her face clearly letting Eddie know she’d tried getting Richie up already, but had evidently failed.

“Thanks.”

He took the stairs two steps at a time and didn’t hesitate to knock on the door.

“Go away”, a quiet voice muttered from inside, and Eddie’s heart sank at the broken sound.

“Baby, it’s me”, Eddie spoke lowly. “Can I come in please?”

He knew the door was unlocked, but he also knew that when Richie got like this, it was important for Richie to feel like he had a safe space.

A shuffling noise could barely be heard from inside the room. Eddie’s head was close enough to the door to be sure he wouldn’t miss Richie’s answer, a hand gently placed on the doorknob, ready to open.

“Yeah.”

The first thing Eddie noticed when stepping into Richie’s room was the musty air, and he wrinkled his nose. It was dark, only a silhouette of light coming from the draped window. Then his eyes landed on the bundle on the bed, Richie’s gangly body small as it was crumbled together underneath the comforter. It was pulled over his head, nothing of him to see except a foot sticking out. 

Before even sitting down on the bed, Eddie opened the window to let some fresh air in, pulling the curtains just a smidge away to fill the space with a hint of sunlight. Then he proceeded to carefully sit next to the lump and placing a hand on what he assumed to be Richie’s arm, just a gentle touch.

“Darlin’”, Eddie started. “Will you let me see your face?”

No response.

“I just really wanna see your beautiful face”, he continued. It always varied what Richie needed to hear to get out of his cocoon, and Eddie always had to start somewhere. Compliments usually worked the best, but this time there wasn’t even a twitch of movement. 

“Give you a little kiss on the nose?”

Richie seemed to pull the comforter even closer to him, doing the opposite of what Eddie hoped for, and Eddie frowned. Richie barely ever reacted negatively to compliments, always thriving off the attention. Loving it, _living_ for it.

“Richie, I…” Eddie sighed. “I don’t know how to help. Please let me help.”

Still no response.

With a quick scan of the bundle on the bed, Eddie came to the conclusion that Richie was lying on his side, the one foot still poking out. Eddie had helped painting the toenails in pink, purple and blue just over a month ago, and the paint was almost gone now, just small flecks of color left. 

He resisted the urge to put his hand on it, scared that Richie would jump at the direct touch, and Eddie crawled into the bed instead. Ending up snuggled up behind him, Eddie spooned the lump with his arm loosely placed on top of Richie’s hip.

They lied in silence for a long time, Eddie relaxing at the sound of Richie breathing evenly. He let himself close his eyes, pushing his face into the back of Richie’s neck (or what he thought was Richie’s neck) and tightening his grip around him.

A sharp intake of breath was all it took for Eddie to snap his eyes back open, suddenly very aware and prepared for anything.

“I’m ugly.”

Out of all the things Eddie had expected to hear, that hadn’t been it. Maybe “I’m just tired” or “It’s one of those days”, or “I want to get up, but my body won’t allow it”. Maybe even something as horrible as “I’m all wrong” was expected. All of those were things Richie had mumbled at some point during his bad days, all things that always broke Eddie’s heart to hear. 

It was the same this time, and Eddie couldn’t hold back the broken sound happening in his throat. Richie had never said anything like it before.

“Why…” Eddie stopped. “Why would you say that? You’re not ugly.”

“But I am.” Richie’s voice was steady, almost as if he had accepted the fact.

“I don’t think you are”, Eddie was trying his hardest not to scream in frustration; desperate for Richie to understand how absolutely wrong he was. “I think you’re the most beautiful boy in the world.”

“That’s impossible, you haven’t seen every boy in the world”, Richie argued, voice muffled. “So you can’t say that.”

“You’re right, I haven’t”, Eddie uttered. Richie shuffled a little bit underneath the comforter. “But I don’t have to, it wouldn’t matter, I’m still gonna think it’s you.”

Eddie refused to feel dumb or cringe at the clichés. He knew Richie needed to hear it said so directly, leaving no doubt to misinterpret. It was true anyways. To Eddie, Richie really _was _the most beautiful boy in the world.

“You don’t mean that.”

“But I do”, Eddie snuggled closer. “I’m not saying you have to leave the bed today or anything. I just want to see your face.”

Silence.

“Or we can just lay here all day, the two of us. Or I can leave you alone if that’s what you want. But you know that there’s no way in hell I’m leaving you in this room thinking you’re ugly.”

Silence.

“Even if you wanna go to the quarry and swim with the others, we can do it”, Eddie squeezed the lump in his arms. “Whatever you want.”

Silence.

“You just have to tell me, baby.”

Silence.

And then: movement. Eddie pushed up on his elbow.

A dark set of wild curls appeared, followed by Richie’s tired eyes, glasses gone. He still held his comforter harshly with his pale fingers, keeping it in place just above his nose and leaving his face still half covered.

“Hi there”, Eddie whispered, reaching a hand out to card through Richie’s hair, the locks soft between his fingers. It was unwashed, grease making the curls stick together.

“Hi”, Richie whispered, voice muffled underneath the cover. With knitted eyebrows and unshed tears glittering in his eyes, he looked away from Eddie’s concerned gaze, a snotty sniffle escaping him. 

“Will you let me see more of you?” Eddie was trying to keep his voice gentle, make Richie understand that there was no pressure, the decision all up to him. He was allowed to say no.

Richie shook his head.

“Are you gonna tell me why?”

Richie didn’t move, eyes flickering around the room to avoid looking at Eddie. His brows drew narrower, deep creases appearing between them. Even though half his face was visible, Eddie could barely catch even a sliver of skin, Richie’s hair falling over his eyes.

“It’s unfair that your skin is perfect”, Richie finally said. 

“What?”

“Mine is just-”, he inhaled shakily, “_not._”

And there it was. Eddie continued to push his fingers through Richie’s hair, short nails scratching at his scalp. Richie tried to move away. “Don’t do that, my hair is disgusting.”

“I don’t care”, Eddie reached over again slowly, testing the waters. “And stop putting yourself down.”

Richie sighed. “I woke up today, and my face was just in _so_ much pain”, he looked down, eyes narrowed. “Still is.”

Another sniffle.

“And I didn’t even have to look in the mirror to know what my face looked like, and I didn’t want to either. I didn’t wanna see how ugly I was.” Eddie winced at the word choice. “But then I went on Snapchat without thinking and the front camera opened and I just…” he stopped. “It’s just- it’s _so_ bad.”

Eddie’s thumb had started stroking Richie’s temple.

“And then it’s my shoulders and back too, and you’ve seen how they look, obviously.”

Eddie had to hold back his frown at the lack of a sex-joke. It was the perfect opportunity to crack one, just a small “wink wink” or a “ if you know what I mean” or, knowing Richie, something as bold as “Obviously after fucking me in doggy style last week, huh Eds, remember that? Of course you do, you were pulling at my hair real good there” with a nudge of the elbow.

“And that shit just never goes away”, Richie continued. “I thought I wouldn’t care going swimming with you guys. Like, when we planned it on Wednesday I got this bad feeling inside me, but I kept thinking, _hoping_, that I’d feel fine when the day came.”

Eddie wanted to swipe the hair out of Richie’s forehead to see him better.

“But now it’s here, and I’m not.”

He shrugged underneath the comforter, voice breaking at the last word.

Eddie moved in closer, pressing his nose against Richie’s temple, nuzzling as close as he could. “_Richie_.” His voice was sad, he knew, and he tried to hold it back, but seeing his Richie like this made his heart shatter. “What do I have to do to make you believe me when I say that I think you’re beautiful?”

“I don’t know.”

Eddie sighed.

“I just don’t think it’s possible.”

Eddie kissed at Richie’s cheek through the comforter. “A couple of pimples don’t make you ugly. Everybody gets them sometimes.”

Richie scoffed. “Yeah, but it’s not “a couple of pimples”, it’s my entire fucking face.”

“I still mean it, they don’t change your face or your features. Your pretty face is still there, and your eyes are the same and lips are the same. You’re still you, Rich. And who you are is beautiful.”

“You’re the one who’s beautiful”, Richie whispered, voice softer now.

“But we’re not talking about me, we’re talking about you.”

Richie finally met his eyes.

“And I’m so in love with you. Your smile, your eyes, your hair, your kindness, your clumsiness, your voices, just…” he moved his face to kiss Richie’s clammy forehead. “I love your everything. I’ll even go as far as to say I love your dumb jokes.”

A raspy chuckle came from Richie’s cocoon, the sound erupting fireworks inside of Eddie’s chest.

“Like that”, Eddie smiled. “Your laugh, it makes me so happy. _You _make me so happy. You having a bad skin day is not gonna change that.”

Richie closed his eyes and sighed under Eddie’s lips.

“Please won’t you show me your handsome face, and then I’ll show you just how much I love you.”

With a final nod, Richie let go of the comforter, pushing it away and opening up for Eddie to get underneath. Eddie wasted no time reaching for Richie’s face, cradling his cheeks in his hands.

Richie hadn’t exaggerated, his skin really _was_ bad, but Eddie didn’t even care to look properly, only smiling gently and rubbing his nose against Richie’s.

“My beautiful boy.”

Richie laughed again, a proper laugh with a proper smile, red cheeks, crooked teeth and everything. Eddie wanted to carve the image into his brain.

_No, fuck that, put it on my grave stone_, he thought. _Nothing means more than him._

Leaning down for a kiss, he let his hands wander over Richie’s warm skin. No surprise that Richie was a little sweaty after lying underneath the comforter for so long, and after a nod of approval from Richie, he pulled it off, exposing the two of them to the room.

Eddie sat back on his heels to look at his boyfriend, only in boxers underneath him. With sunlight peaking through the window, his pale skin was turning to gold, and Eddie had to simply stare for a moment. 

It was nice to see Richie being so trusting, smiling all softly up at Eddie, curls framing his head on the pillow, his usually sharp jaw soft in this specific angle, sleepy eyes, freckles littering the entirety of his body.

“Wow”, Eddie breathed out.

He placed a hand on Richie’s hip, leaning down to kiss at his chest. As his fingers caressed over Richie’s thighs, he pressed his mouth to every part of Richie that he could.

“C’mere”, he whispered, pulling Richie into his arms before moving up to his neck, sucking on a spot right underneath his right ear. “Let me take care of you.”

“Eds”, Richie exhaled, fingers digging into Eddie’s back, still covered by his t-shirt.

“It’s okay.”

They kissed, lips slick with spit and tongues gliding together. It was wet and it was desperate. Richie was breathing harshly through his nose, their faces pushed together.

Eddie’s hand trailed downwards, landing on Richie’s ass. Giving it a slight squeeze, he could hear Richie holding back a moan.

“My parents are downstairs”, he whispered, but he leaned into Eddie’s touch nonetheless.

“We’ll just have to be quiet.”

Eddie resumed by moving his index finger between Richie’s cheeks, finding his hole quickly even over the boxers and started rubbing gently against it. Moving his hips automatically, Richie spread his legs wide, lifting his hips a little with every push against Eddie’s fingers. His clothed cock was hard, probably aching to be set free.

“You look so good like this”, Eddie whispered, moving between Richie’s long legs. “Absolutely gorgeous.”

Richie whimpered. “Can we just stay in here today?”

“Of course.” He moved to pull Richie’s underwear off, but with a sudden gasp, Richie reached out a hand to stop him.

“Shit.”

“What?” Eddie pulled away, confused.

“I haven’t cleaned myself”, his head fell back against the pillow in exasperation. “Damn it.”

“Oh.” Eddie shrugged. “Well, that’s okay. I’ll just blow you then.”

Richie’s head snapped back up, a hand pushing his own hair out of his face. “Yeah?”

Eddie simply smiled in confirmation, reaching back to take off Richie’s underwear again.

Once he was completely naked on the bed, his hard cock glorious as it rested on his stomach, Richie scooted back to lean against the headboard, grabbing his glasses from the nightstand in the process. His head was tilted back, mouth slightly open and lips bitten raw. He looked amazing.

Eddie’s mouth watered at the sight.

He stripped off his own clothes, wanting to feel Richie’s skin against his own. Moving down to kiss at Richie’s thighs, Eddie took a hold of Richie’s hand, linking their fingers together.

“Holy shit, I’m so turned on right now, you don’t even know”, Richie mumbled.

“Oh, I know”, Eddie smirked. He looked up at Richie from where he was situated between his legs before eyeing the throbbing cock in front of him. When he looked back up at Richie, he raised his eyebrows. “I’ve kinda noticed.”

Richie giggled. “Oh, fuck you.” He made a point of wiggling his hips, his dick slapping Eddie on the cheek.

“Hey, what the fuck?” Eddie swatted it away from his face, but he was giggling too. “Can you just let me blow you now?”

“Oh, right.” Richie settled back down, an amused smile still playing on his lips.

Eddie couldn’t help rolling his eyes, finally getting to put his hand properly on Richie, settling around the base. A small gasp came from above him as he started licking at the tip, his tongue circling the head a couple of times before he moved to the slit, tasting the familiar saltiness.

“Oh”, came Richie’s breathy reaction, one of his hands tangling into Eddie’s hair.

Eddie was building it up, starting with wetting the cock by licking all over before finally putting his lips around, tongue flattened on the underside as he bobbed his head. It didn’t take long for Richie to start panting and moving his hips up, matching Eddie’s rhythm.

He always did that, and Eddie always let him, loving the sounds Richie would make as he fucked Eddie’s mouth.

“Shit, your mouth feels so good, Eds”, Richie was rambling. “So, so, so good, holy fuck, I love you so much, you’re so amazing. Eds, I fucking love you, I love you I love you I love you.”

He kept talking, repeating himself, and Eddie could only hum in response.

_Kinda hard to talk with a cock down my throat_, he thought, and had to keep himself from smiling too much.

Richie was close, Eddie could tell. His legs had started shaking, moans quiet yet very much audible. More than happy to push Richie over that edge, Eddie kept going, enjoying the way Richie was squeezing his hand desperately.

But then Richie yelled out “wait!” and Eddie pulled off in surprise.

“What?”

“Just come here”, Richie was motioning him closer, patting his thighs for Eddie to sit. “Together.”

“Oh.” Eddie moved to sit on Richie’s lap, their cocks bumping into each other.

The moan erupting in the back of Eddie’s throat was impossible to hold back, and Eddie sighed in relief of finally getting some friction. He had completely forgotten about his own aching cock, his only focus on pleasing Richie. 

Reaching over to the nightstand, Richie pulled out the little bottle of lube and quickly covered his fingers with it. He wrapped his long fingers around the two of them, Eddie inhaling sharply. It was like he blacked out for a second, and he put his head on Richie’s shoulder. “I’m not gonna last long.”

“Me neither”, Richie laughed, nudging at Eddie’s head with his nose.

Then Richie began jerking them off, Eddie starting to buck up into his hand, their two cocks gliding together. Eddie couldn’t help thinking how good it looked, the two of them rutting against each other desperately.

Richie came first, spilling between them. With his hand still going, all Eddie needed was Richie moaning his name and then he was coming too.

Stains hit the sheets, but none of them cared in their blissed out state as they fell onto each other.

“Holy shit”, Richie was breathing heavily, arms wrapped around Eddie’s waist.

“Yeah”, Eddie agreed, his finger tracing over Richie’s shoulder. “Holy shit.”

Silence settled over them, both calming down again, letting their heartbeats slow down into their normal rhythm.

“If you want, tomorrow, we can go look for some face cleanser that you can use before bed and stuff?” Eddie suggested, scooting back to put his chin on Richie’s chest, looking up at him.

“Yeah”, Richie looked down, stretching his neck to kiss Eddie gently on the nose. “Let’s do that.”

“Do you think you’re able to take a shower?” He couldn’t ignore the stickiness gluing them together anymore.

After some thought, Richie nodded his head, his hands stroking over Eddie’s back.

“Alright.” Eddie pulled away to get up and reached out a hand. “Let’s go take a shower, Mr. Handsome.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading, please let me know what you think!  
Come be my friend on tumblr: moonlightrichie


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